Updated: Sep 1
Being a sober women ROCKS for this recovered alcoholic. All of the below I can relate too, mostly though being present in my life, no longer dwelling in the past or fearing the future. I have a relationship now with a power much greater then myself which is also a part of me (I am that, I am). This knowing energy guides me in my life and gave me the life in recovery I have today and all the benefits that come with it as stated in this article. Presence, real relationships, feelings, emotions, trust, faith, grace .....Truly blessed am I xx See article below.
Being a sober woman comes with some large benefits that maybe you can’t see in your present moment. While you can appreciate some of the obvious positive changes that will occur, there are some smaller nuances that will surprise you. The initial elation of a life with no hangovers, no more chains that bind you, no more booze blues and no more addiction related mistakes is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Once you treat your addiction, you’ll be in alignment to be the woman you were destined to be. This will make you a better partner, mother, or colleague.
There are at least eight reasons why you will find that being a sober woman will change your life in a positive way. We can think of many more, but we’re sure that you will find the following reasons to be very encouraging for you. This is an exciting new journey that you’re on, and so much about your life is about to change.
1. You Won’t Wake Up Hungover
Right now, you may not realize how debilitating your hangovers are. You may wake up groggy every day and feeling exhausted before your feet even hit the ground. And more likely than not, you’ve probably gotten so used to these feelings that you don’t even think of them as being unusual any more.
But when you make the choice to live as a sober woman, your mornings will take on a whole new feel. Just imagine it:
No more throbbing headaches or overwhelming body aches all morning long. No more energy-draining fatigue and dizziness making it nearly impossible to concentrate on even the simplest tasks. No more nausea, stomach pain, and overpowering thirst. No more increased sensitivity to light and sound making you feel like your senses are under assault for hours at a time.
Beyond just avoiding the physical toxicity that a night of drinking can have on a body, living as a sober woman will also dramatically improve the quality and consistency of your sleep as well. Not only will you avoid the nasty symptoms of a hangover then, you’ll also reap the health benefits of a good night’s sleep.
Sober women agree – sleeping sober is better each and every time.
Plus, you won’t have the dread that you did something awful the night before. Instead, you’ll wake up feeling well rested, and ready to take on the day.
2. You’ll be in Control of Your Life
Addiction causes you to lose control of all aspects in your life. As a woman, you probably wear many hats so being in control helps to maintain the many responsibilities you have. Keeping track of obligations, preserving your composure in difficult situations, and finding the answers to problems are all necessary skills for a modern woman. But when you’re addicted to not being sober, that control starts to slip away. And that can have some serious consequences in your life.
If you have kids, losing control of your life due to your addiction can cause them a lot of angst. You may lose respect at your work place or drift apart from your partner. You could end up alienating friends and family members after saying something you don’t really mean. And if you have specific career goals or life aspirations, becoming a slave to your addiction can force you to put those ambitions on the backburner.
When you’re a sober woman, though, you can make appointments and keep them. You say what you mean and mean what you say. Your life becomes more predictable by choice and you can actually honor your commitments. And when it comes to those dreams and aspirations you’ve had for so long, well, now you have the self-discipline as a sober woman to actually achieve them.
Being a sober woman leaves you feeling fulfilled, centered, and in control. And there are few things in life as empowering as that.
3. You’re Present for Special Moments
One of the most tragic parts of not being sober is losing out on precious moments in life. When you’re addicted to a substance of any kind, you won’t remember details of important things that happen. The more you sink into your addiction, the more out of touch with people and experiences you are. When you’re drunk at a family function, for example, you lose out on the sweet things kids do. When you’re sober, you can really be in the moment and be present with loved ones.
Sadly, alcoholics tend to believe that their choice to drink doesn’t affect anyone else. They believe that it’s something they choose to do, and whatever happens, they will have to deal with the consequences. While there are consequences for choosing to drink, that choice does have a considerable impact on other people; namely, the alcoholic’s children.
Aside from missing time with their parents, the children of alcoholics often have to deal with a lot of other issues as well.
Being unable to figure out what a normal life looks like. These children don’t have a good example to look up to from their childhoods. They don’t know what a traditional family relationship looks like, and they may have never experienced harmony at home. As they grow up, they may not know how to act or what to say to others; especially when dealing with other families.
Having serious trust issues. If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. These children grow up in homes where there is lying, secrets, and denial. All of that was the norm, and it’s all they know. Because of their history with broken promises, they may not know how to trust someone in the future.
Judging themselves. Children of alcoholics often grow up feeling inadequate. They may constantly compare themselves to others and feel that they come up short in a lot of areas. As adults, they may always see themselves as different from other people, with low self-worth and self-esteem. It’s not uncommon for them to become isolated or extremely socially awkward.
Seeking approval from others. These children are always their own worst critics. They may judge themselves harshly because they don’t know how to give themselves a break. Instead, they become people-pleasers, and when someone isn’t happy with them, it crushes them. They may live in fear of criticism and avoid it at all costs.
Suffering from anxiety and depression. When a child has an alcoholic parent, they may not know how to handle social situations at all; especially special occasions. They take themselves too seriously and are never really able to lighten up.
Struggling with relationships. Intimate relationships may be extremely difficult for people with alcoholic parents. In addition to their trust issues, their lack of self-esteem may not allow them to open up to someone else. They may avoid getting close to another person because of their fear of emotional attachment.
Being afraid of getting abandoned. There are some children of alcoholics who will find relationships, but they may not be healthy ones. These individuals are very likely to hang on to toxic relationships because they don’t want to be by themselves. They may also worry about never finding someone again because they’ve been abandoned in the past.
4. Your Looks Improve Significantly
Being sober will bring life back to your body at a cellular level which will eventually shine through externally. If you’re addicted to alcohol, you’re in a constant state of dehydration which sucks the moisture from your largest organ, the skin. Alcohol robs skin of vitamin A which is the antioxidant that is essential in skin’s cell renewal.
As sober women can tell you, these antioxidants help protect the skin from sun damage (the natural nemesis of smooth and beautiful skin), wrinkles, splotches, free radicals, and the many maladies from harmful chemicals like cigarette smoke which causes you to age far more quickly. Plus, without all of that essential hydration, the natural glow of your skin becomes bland, muted, and utterly overlookable.
But it isn’t just the skin that’s affected either. When you’re addicted to not being sober, your eyes look blood shot from low-quality sleep, you’re more puffy and bloated than ever, and your hair becomes dull or greasy – either way, not a great look.
And finally, embracing the life of sober women can do wonders for your waistline. There are a whopping 150 calories in a regular beer, 100 calories in a dry wine, and 60 calories a piece for each shot of 100 proof liquor.
To put those numbers into perspective, just three glasses of wine a night is the equivalent of eating two extra slices of cheese pizza. And when that becomes a nightly habit, those extra calories can really start to add up – just one more benefit of being a sober woman.
When you become sober, you’ll slowly begin to see the positive benefits it has on your appearance. Your hair becomes shiny again, you lose the bloating in your face and body, and the whites of your eyes replace the bloodshot look. The more time goes on that you remain sober, the more you’ll notice a regeneration of your skin as the body balances itself back out.
5. Your Life Becomes Meaningful
Depending on the path of your life, you may have lead a meaningful life prior to falling into addiction or perhaps your life was what lead you to drink in the first place. When you go through the process of becoming sober, you are a different person because of it. You have a story to tell and strength that makes you an inspiration.
Whether you went to a treatment center or took part in an out patient treatment center for women, you will have the tools to make the most out of your life’s purpose. Not only will you be sober but you will have a clear vision on how you’d like your life to look and feel. It’s essential to your success in staying sober. There is only one place to go and that is forward.
Up until you started thinking about getting sober, you may have felt as though your life was meaningless. You may be drinking because you feel that nothing else matters, so why not do what you want to do? Going to treatment will connect you with people who can help you rediscover your life’s purpose again. You may have walked away from so many things that you loved years ago. For example, you may have wanted to;
Get your GED or start working on a college degree. Start up a business of your own.Get married and start a family.Begin volunteering with an organization that you believe in.Spend more time with people you love.Become more involved in your church.
No matter what it is that you want to do, with the right support and tools, you can accomplish it. The sky is the limit.
Going to treatment is going to do so much for you besides getting you to stop drinking and stay sober. Your treatment team will also work with you on ways to help you avoid relapsing. This means recapturing what you used to love about life, setting some goals, and working on achieving them.
6. You Touch Upon Your Emotions
When you’re constantly drinking, you can’t feel your emotions. It’s a well-known fact that addiction to alcohol is often traced back to a need for not feeling those emotions. The problem is, as you block out the bad feelings, you also block the good. The repressed emotions are still in you and affect you every time a certain trigger sets it off.
At this point, your emotions may be all over the place. Drinking may calm you down, but the truth is that its effects don’t last forever. You’re certainly not alone if this has been your experience.
Many doctors believe that alcoholism is really a disease of emotions. One doctor states, “Everyone feels like this sometimes but alcohol-dependent people feel like this all the time. They stuff their feelings; take the edge off their emotions with alcohol…The plan is to get rid of the bad feelings, but of course, the good ones get smothered too.”
Part of getting sober will include dealing with the dark feelings that you’ve perhaps been trying to hide. This is a major part of any addiction treatment program for good reason. When you can begin to peal back the layers of emotions within you, this is where healing begins. These emotions stop ruling your life and you can truly start moving forward. Once you can make amends with the emotions that have been so uncomfortable for you, you’re free to start feeling the good emotions again. This is a huge reward when you can experience moments of joy and bliss in your life.
It’s important to realize that emotional instability is often depression, anxiety or another mental illness in disguise. No one wants to hear that they are suffering from a mental illness, but unless it is treated, the symptoms will just persist. Many alcoholics suffer from what professionals refer to as co-occurring disorders . Women in particular are prone to self-medicating when their emotions seem beyond their control.
The right treatment program will address any co-occurring disorder you may be suffering from. As you stop drinking, you will find that you are more in control of how you feel. Before long, that need to self-medicate will go away.
7. Your Health Improves
There are a lot of aspects to your health that go down hill when you’re addicted to not being sober. You feel lethargic and have no energy, your sleeping and eating habits are terrible, and you don’t have the capacity to deal with negative feelings. Your body is giving you messages that you’re poisoning it and it’s had enough.
As a sober woman, you will start to sleep better so you’ll wake up feeling rejuvenated. Since your judgement will also be better when you’re sober, your eating habits will improve so you won’t experience the discomfort of constipation constantly. Your energy levels will rise so you’ll want to get involved in fun things again.
You’ll also be more likely to engage in physical activities as a sober woman now that you’re feeling more energized than before. And with that added exercise, your heart, mood, waistline, and more all stand to benefit.
With the physical health, you’ll regain your mental health back too. Unchecked alcoholism can often lead to or aggravate mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, or other mood disorders. Since sober women tend to get much better sleep, the extra energy and feelings of general refreshment you’ll feel each morning after quitting alcohol can help you overcome these mental illnesses.
When it comes to your health then, the message is clear – sober is better.
8. Rekindling Relationships
Once you’re sober, one of your important steps to full recovery is to rekindle relationships. During your addiction, you probably made some errors in judgment because you weren’t clear or coherent. When you begin to reach out to people, you’ll be delighted at the compassion your friends and family have for you. You will have an internal bliss because you won’t feel alone. You’ll have hope for the future. We all need each other and this part of being sober will allow you to see how loved and supported you truly are.
If there are relationships you want to repair, this is something you should approach cautiously. Remember, there may be people who were severely hurt because of your behaviors while you weren’t sober. There could have been extensive damage done, and while you want to fix it, they are entitled to their feelings as well.
Having said that, there are some steps you can take to repair relationships that are important to you.
Reach out to the people you want to reconnect with. It won’t work for you to wait for them to make the first move, even if you believe they were in the wrong. It’s up to you to extend the olive branch to them. You might not be sure about how they will respond, but be prepared for either response. You can even consider sending an email or a letter instead of making a phone call or talking face to face if it makes you feel better. Let them know that you are getting help for your addiction and you’re trying to get your life back on track.
Be honest and ask them for forgiveness. The fact that you have a problem with another person means that somewhere along the line, you were in the wrong. They may be expecting you to make excuses or deny that you were at fault. Be honest about what you are going through. Apologize for what happened between you and ask them to forgive you. You may be surprised to see how willing they are to do just that.
Put the past in the past. Once you have asked for forgiveness – whether it was granted to you or not – put that event behind you. There is no need to bring it up to yourself or among your friends or family members any longer. It’s over, and nothing is going to change it. You need to move forward with the knowledge that you are now making better decisions.
Stay in contact with them. Your reconciliation is not a one-time thing. In order for it to work, you must keep up your end of the relationship. It may take some time before they believe that you really have changed, and that’s OK. By calling them or texting them regularly, they will be able to see the change in you themselves. Not everyone is going to welcome you back into their lives with open arms. That’s something that you should be prepared for. You need to give them the time they need. Also, it’s important to recognize the fact that they may never “come around.” That part is not your responsibility. Your job is to attempt to reconcile and ask for forgiveness.
These are just some of the reasons why a sober life is a better life, keep on the path and more will be revealed xx
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Author - @Women Recovery